Sean Payton challenges scare reader Josh M. in the CCC. Josh ran a 1:03 last year while Payton says he ran a 1:07, yet Payton recalls passing the Easter Bunny. Lots of scare potential for tomorrow's CCC race.

Without committing a HIPPA violation, I'm happy to say Wes who was thought to be really hurt is just kinda hurt. Definitely a scare, and we hope he gets better soon.

This Saturday, NORFC plays Baton Rouge RFC. If this wasn't enough of a scare, this matchup sets up a duel between TH prop Jacob "Sausage" Verret and LH prop Matt "Like a Sausage?" Upton. This battle will be like Ditka vs. Hurricane Ditka. It may cause the whole world to asplode.

Come out to Gretna Saturday Feb. 7 at 6pm if you dare.

Not a scare, but a celebration.

Pancho's is returning to Metairie. Flags will be raised, chili will be cheesed, and the sopapillas will ooze with honey.

The real scare is how our bodies are gonna feel after we eat there for the first time.

Here is anecdotal story I received from Scare correspondent Matt Oertling:

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine, Kalunda (not his real name) was celebrating his birthday with a night of festivities at visions men's club. After some time at the bar/stage he selected a lovely young Thespian and solicited a lap dance from her. He was taken into the vip area and the entertaining commenced. After only a few brief moments, the entertainer began to convulse in a manner not usually associated with this sort of entertainment. He thought that this was just an unusual part of the routine. Nay. The girl then proceeded to snatch the hat off of his head and vomit in it. My friend instinctively pushed the dancer off of him, retrieved his hat, and went to place it in the bed of his truck. When he returned, he was accosted by a fleet of scantily clad and none to happy thespians at which point they accused him of vomiting on their coworkers and then pushing her to the floor. Needless to say he was astounded and confused as he left the club.

Ok, well tonight started out pretty scary as we had to run the bleep test. Which, just plain out sucks for anyone no matter how fat you may be. The night proceeded to get a bit better as we had our grand re-opening of the Rugby Pub under Tap & Go ownership. It was the most people/fun that I have seen in the place (you should check it out).

So, here’s the juicy part: as 2:00am rolls around, my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend starts “bopping” around and visiting other patrons of the bar. Apparently, a jealous old lady decided she didn’t want a hot younger chick talking to her husband, so she ran over and started cursing out and threatening the younger adversary. It was like watching animal planet and seeing the old gorilla running around with her saggy boobs scaring the kids…trust me. So, I decided to tell this old gorilla to chill out that Jenna was my girlfriend and she had nothing to worry about. This didn’t work as I had planned. She then wrapped her old arms around me and tried to kiss me asking, “How do you like that?” well, the obvious answer was “Not at all you old bitch, get your saggy arms off of me before I kick your husbands ass (at least that is what I was thinking).” Needless to say, we left to avoid any further trouble.

OR SO I THOUGHT…as I was riding home. I all of the sudden noticed those dreaded flashing lights behind me. Yep, it was a cop. Then a second showed up. As the cop walked up to my window, all I could think was, “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OH SHIT I am going to jail!!!!!!!” Believe it or not I was pulled over for an expired license plate. How the hell did he see that before he pulled me over anyway?? So, he was pretty cool and just asked me for my info and walked away. So, I think I am in the clear. That’s when my passenger decided she had to release the demons from her body…yes puke!! Right, I know what you are thinking. If she pukes right in front of a cop, he will know I have been drinking too. So yes, I was fucking freaking out. I begged her to chill out and just relax, but I guess…when nature calls. She actually puked in a water bottle I used during practice. Believe it or not, I actually made it out OK. On that note, I also had a close call last Saturday on the Causeway, but that’s a different story.

If you made it this far, you must be pretty bored, but I thank you for your support. I am also writing this at 3:15am in the morning so cut me some fucking slack. What a scary world!

Peace out,
Rob

In a tense situation last practice, we learned that "B" in B-side Tony's name definitely doesn't stand for bleep (test).

In a bold move that left onlookers in shock, bsTony refused the bleep test much in the way an inebriated driver is coached to refuse a Breathalyzer test. Such a pioneer. We salute you B-side Tony.

Oert went to the hot box Yoga class tonight, and I think I may try to go to the next one, as long as I can say Yoga Fire and Yoga Flame the whole time I'm there.

This should be an especially fun experience as I possess a sort of practical joke like inflexibility which is sure to make me the dunce at any Yoga class. Maybe next week.

yes, yes, sean is correct. I am made of glass and had another damn scare. Shoulder doesn't seem to be separated; looks like its sprained/torn muscles and tendons in the shoulder and neck. Dr. Todd is working his magic so hopefully I will be back on the field again soon to hurt something else.

In other scary news, Matt-O has found one of the 2000 pot holes it our cottage cheese field and tore some ligaments in his ankle.

Now that the season has begun, I am sure we will have plenty of scares, both on and off the field to report.

So stay tuned!!

-Rob

The 2008-2009 New Orleans Rugby season is upon us, and the Robbish one got hurt only 4 minutes into the first game. Looks like a shoulder separation this time. Other scares were averted except for some extreme soreness to yours truly. We head to St. Louis this weekend to take on the Bombers in which is sure to a scare-ful weekend.

Stay Robbish

While not a complete success, this weekend saw the New Orleans Rugby Club advance further into the playoffs than ever before in club history. NORFC dropped an ugly game to Charleston on Saturday, but regrouped to beat Augusta on Sunday and claim a seed in the national playoffs.

Notable scares involved the Augusta pack, which by the end of the game acquiesced in fear to the powerful forward drives of NORFC. One player even turned his back to Briefcase on a quick tap.

The New Orleans RFC Robbish Ruggers defeated the Atlanta Renegades 48-0 and are headed to Jacksonville on 4/26 for the USA Rugby South Final 4. Charleston will be the opponent. Also playing this weekend are Augusta and Jacksonville. The winners play for the #1 and #2 seeds, the losers face off for the #3 seed.

Wishing safe and scare-free travels to all those heading to Jax.

I'm happy to announce that the New Orleans Rugby Club has finished the cup season undefeated and are D-2 South - West Division champs (cue Karate Kid best around song). Up next are the Atlanta Renegades.

Thanks Bus for giving us back our life line.

I have a long overdue scare since we lost our haven for comedic, yet very very realistic release.

A few Saturdays ago, a few of the guys got together after the game to have a few beverages on Magazine street. One of which is our very own Tony “B-Side” Breaux. We ended up at Miss Mays. While we were there, a young lad decides that he does not like b-side very much. So, one of Tony’s buddies decided he didn’t like the young lad very much either and gave him a little “love tap” on the side of the head. This, in turn, made us decide to leave the bar (well the bouncers actually made that decision).

To paint you a picture of what the young lad looked like…well, he was like a Marshall with a terminal illness who was trying to establish his impossible dream as a white rapper. In other words, he was a 5’2”, 125lb piece of shit.

Ok the punch line:

After we go outside and the Mini Me, HIV having Eminem had his “classy” girlfriend threaten us all with, “I have my man’s back!!!”, he then decides to tell us he was going to get his gun. Most of us decided it was time to get the hell out of dodge, but not Tony. He tried to chase the kid down. After much persuasion, ending with Jenna crying, Tony showed his sensitive side and got in my car to make her stop crying. He is true sweetheart ladies. Definitely a SCARE with Tony!!

Until next time…

So I lost pretty much the whole site, and after much searching I found a backup I made of the mysql database from october, and then I fortunate enough to have the RSS feeds on my google home page with cached text of the scares and comments posted since then. I am in the process of getting everything back in order.

I've upgraded to a new hamster to help power the website...I think this marmint is a refugee of the Oertling household.

Thanks for your concern, Bus. But don't worry. I have come up with a very strict regiment for rehabilitation. Of course I will be doing plenty of the ole rest, ice compression, and elevation stuff. However, I have a secret weapon. The way I figure it, I need plenty of protein (for the muscle) and milk (does a body good) to speed up my recovery. Therefore I have decided to go on a 100% Chili Cheese Burrito diet. Its perfect, the chili has the protein, the cheese has the dairy (or milk) and it even has an extra bonus of carbs in the tortilla. I should be back on the pitch in no time.

I hear hyperbaric chamber is code word for ccb in TO’s house.

-Rob

I'm not gone but two days, and Rob gets a bonafide scare. More than a scare. Rob once again exhibited dynamicism more than that which the human body was designed to handle. The Robbish One may want to think about getting some synthetic hamstrings.

And to think...people used to question me.... why a site called scare with rob? The poor guy is just full of scares.

Temperature... 7 degrees. 7 is not a temperature, it's how many chili cheese burritos I can eat in one sitting.

I felt it was my duty to explore Denver's offerings my first night in town. While the Elmwood Taco Bell has been secretly selling CCB's, this sight nearly brought me to tears:

To see the Chili-Cheese Burrito listed permanently on the menu....it just explained the very reason someone would want to call a place this cold home.

For those of you who don't already know, our fearless leader and webmaster extraordinaire is leaving town. His journey to greatness (or doucheness) takes him to Denver. One thing I do know is that leaves more chili cheese burritos for me. In fact, I was really shocked hearing about his decision to leave shortly after our favorite snack has made a comeback. I then figured out this little enigma…I checked on the second best website in the world www.chilicheese.org (this one being #1 of course) and found my answer. Denver has not 1, not 2, but THREE Taco Bells with ccb’s. No wonder Denver is closer to heaven.

I guess I will be visiting bus in Denver after all.

-Rob

The following is a stream of consciousness recollection from hopefully prodigal 2nd row, Michael Guarisco and his experiences on Dec. 1 after LSU won the SEC:

Well me chunks and wortmann were at cooter browns watching all the games. I proceeded to get hammered drunk. I went outside and my car was gone, so I freaked and thought someone stole it, so in my drunken state I thought I could run around uptown on foot and find the perps...no luck. Wortmann couldn't find me, my phone died , all Whit got from me was while out of breath, "truck stolen" and then click. Well she started talking to drunk wortmann and he said maybe you should start checking the hospitals. This escalated more and more with my sisters getting involved. Meanwhile I'm still running around uptown like forest fucking gump.

Well Wortmann got tired of waiting and drove back to the north shore Whit is still freaking out so she calls the cops and they do a house check at like 1am. I've been running around uptown for 2.5 hrs now. Cops only find barking dog in house, no drunk Michael.

Well I don't remember what time I finally got home, but it had to be just after that. I find myself on the couch at about 5:30am. The night was fuzzy in my head but I knew my truck had been stolen. I get in the bronco and drive by cooter browns, no Tahoe. So i drive back home and call the cops. They send a unit to my house and he starts yelling at me about something fishy is going on and that I need to call my friend Whitney in Denver cause another unit had already been by there tonight. He also tells me check with the tow companies before I file a report. I call all the companies all of them say no truck. Finally at 1pm the next day, one of them calls back and says yes they do have it. They could not give me a report on why it was towed. I called again today still no report. I got my truck back for $200.

Huge scare, I was outta my gourd. I ran from St. Charles up to like Earhart then back down the other side of Tulane. I just remember looking at Earhart and Pine and thinking what the fuck am i doing here. Then more black out. I spoke to Wortmann like 2 or 3 times while running calling out random intersections. He said he would drive to them and could not find me, thats because I would call them out and just keep running. He also followed a Tahoe that he thought was mine then realized it was the wrong color.

Mike updated this story by explaining he had terrible stomach pains that caused him a hospital visit Tuesday, a result of the alcohol in his stomach and the excessive running, which eroded the lining of his stomach and he got gastritis. By taking a few pills and skipping a few drinks, he is expected to make a full recovery.