Ok, well tonight started out pretty scary as we had to run the bleep test. Which, just plain out sucks for anyone no matter how fat you may be. The night proceeded to get a bit better as we had our grand re-opening of the Rugby Pub under Tap & Go ownership. It was the most people/fun that I have seen in the place (you should check it out).

So, here’s the juicy part: as 2:00am rolls around, my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend starts “bopping” around and visiting other patrons of the bar. Apparently, a jealous old lady decided she didn’t want a hot younger chick talking to her husband, so she ran over and started cursing out and threatening the younger adversary. It was like watching animal planet and seeing the old gorilla running around with her saggy boobs scaring the kids…trust me. So, I decided to tell this old gorilla to chill out that Jenna was my girlfriend and she had nothing to worry about. This didn’t work as I had planned. She then wrapped her old arms around me and tried to kiss me asking, “How do you like that?” well, the obvious answer was “Not at all you old bitch, get your saggy arms off of me before I kick your husbands ass (at least that is what I was thinking).” Needless to say, we left to avoid any further trouble.

OR SO I THOUGHT…as I was riding home. I all of the sudden noticed those dreaded flashing lights behind me. Yep, it was a cop. Then a second showed up. As the cop walked up to my window, all I could think was, “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OH SHIT I am going to jail!!!!!!!” Believe it or not I was pulled over for an expired license plate. How the hell did he see that before he pulled me over anyway?? So, he was pretty cool and just asked me for my info and walked away. So, I think I am in the clear. That’s when my passenger decided she had to release the demons from her body…yes puke!! Right, I know what you are thinking. If she pukes right in front of a cop, he will know I have been drinking too. So yes, I was fucking freaking out. I begged her to chill out and just relax, but I guess…when nature calls. She actually puked in a water bottle I used during practice. Believe it or not, I actually made it out OK. On that note, I also had a close call last Saturday on the Causeway, but that’s a different story.

If you made it this far, you must be pretty bored, but I thank you for your support. I am also writing this at 3:15am in the morning so cut me some fucking slack. What a scary world!

Peace out,
Rob