Not a scare, but a celebration.

Pancho's is returning to Metairie. Flags will be raised, chili will be cheesed, and the sopapillas will ooze with honey.

The real scare is how our bodies are gonna feel after we eat there for the first time.

Here is anecdotal story I received from Scare correspondent Matt Oertling:

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine, Kalunda (not his real name) was celebrating his birthday with a night of festivities at visions men's club. After some time at the bar/stage he selected a lovely young Thespian and solicited a lap dance from her. He was taken into the vip area and the entertaining commenced. After only a few brief moments, the entertainer began to convulse in a manner not usually associated with this sort of entertainment. He thought that this was just an unusual part of the routine. Nay. The girl then proceeded to snatch the hat off of his head and vomit in it. My friend instinctively pushed the dancer off of him, retrieved his hat, and went to place it in the bed of his truck. When he returned, he was accosted by a fleet of scantily clad and none to happy thespians at which point they accused him of vomiting on their coworkers and then pushing her to the floor. Needless to say he was astounded and confused as he left the club.

Ok, well tonight started out pretty scary as we had to run the bleep test. Which, just plain out sucks for anyone no matter how fat you may be. The night proceeded to get a bit better as we had our grand re-opening of the Rugby Pub under Tap & Go ownership. It was the most people/fun that I have seen in the place (you should check it out).

So, here’s the juicy part: as 2:00am rolls around, my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend starts “bopping” around and visiting other patrons of the bar. Apparently, a jealous old lady decided she didn’t want a hot younger chick talking to her husband, so she ran over and started cursing out and threatening the younger adversary. It was like watching animal planet and seeing the old gorilla running around with her saggy boobs scaring the kids…trust me. So, I decided to tell this old gorilla to chill out that Jenna was my girlfriend and she had nothing to worry about. This didn’t work as I had planned. She then wrapped her old arms around me and tried to kiss me asking, “How do you like that?” well, the obvious answer was “Not at all you old bitch, get your saggy arms off of me before I kick your husbands ass (at least that is what I was thinking).” Needless to say, we left to avoid any further trouble.

OR SO I THOUGHT…as I was riding home. I all of the sudden noticed those dreaded flashing lights behind me. Yep, it was a cop. Then a second showed up. As the cop walked up to my window, all I could think was, “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OH SHIT I am going to jail!!!!!!!” Believe it or not I was pulled over for an expired license plate. How the hell did he see that before he pulled me over anyway?? So, he was pretty cool and just asked me for my info and walked away. So, I think I am in the clear. That’s when my passenger decided she had to release the demons from her body…yes puke!! Right, I know what you are thinking. If she pukes right in front of a cop, he will know I have been drinking too. So yes, I was fucking freaking out. I begged her to chill out and just relax, but I guess…when nature calls. She actually puked in a water bottle I used during practice. Believe it or not, I actually made it out OK. On that note, I also had a close call last Saturday on the Causeway, but that’s a different story.

If you made it this far, you must be pretty bored, but I thank you for your support. I am also writing this at 3:15am in the morning so cut me some fucking slack. What a scary world!

Peace out,
Rob

In a tense situation last practice, we learned that "B" in B-side Tony's name definitely doesn't stand for bleep (test).

In a bold move that left onlookers in shock, bsTony refused the bleep test much in the way an inebriated driver is coached to refuse a Breathalyzer test. Such a pioneer. We salute you B-side Tony.

Oert went to the hot box Yoga class tonight, and I think I may try to go to the next one, as long as I can say Yoga Fire and Yoga Flame the whole time I'm there.

This should be an especially fun experience as I possess a sort of practical joke like inflexibility which is sure to make me the dunce at any Yoga class. Maybe next week.